i'm this mean bitch inside of me, i see ppl telling me they've gotten their LOA to diff schools.
one side i'm really happy for them, on another side, jealousy had gotten the better of me, how i hope the person would be me instead. the depressed feeling stays till the day i receive smth from either NTU or NUS.
i'm this mean bitch inside of me, when i see skinny ppl, i secretly curse and hope for them to grow fat cause i'm so damn jealous of their bodies.but actually i take them as inspirations, admire them, visit their blogs and fb, just to spite myself, allowing to face reality of what a fat ass i am.
i'm this mean bitch inside of me, when i see ppl with good fashion sense, i can't help thinking if all their pretty clothes will be mine.
cause you can see me hopelessly lazy and i'd rather dress in tanktops and denim skirt. i have no idea of what i look good in or what haircut i don best, or what's the most fashion forward trend. so i'm just trying, trying to follow up with frequent visits of websites, magazines and fashion blogs. or maybe i just feel that nothing will ever look good on such a body so i don't bother.
i'm just this person who have lost her confidence over the past alot of months, i shriek when i see narcissist photos taken years ago. i can't believe i did those, i can't believe i thought i was pretty. or maybe these days, i'm just too self-conscious which have caused all of the above.
i feel stupid, fat and ugly.
dont worry, i'll get this over in awhile.
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